Respect Before Titles: A Habit We Need to Relearn

By: Juen Arzadon MA, AMFT/APCC

“Sino ba ’yan?”

“Ano bang trabaho niya?”

“May pinag-aralan ba ’yan?”

In the Philippines, we often hear these phrases, before people decide whether to respect someone.

It’s a quiet habit many don’t admit, but it appears everywhere—sa pila, sa opisina, sa kalsada, at maging sa social media.

We size people up. We scan their clothes, look for cues of schooling, judge their posture, or check their job title before deciding how to treat them.

But here’s a truth we tend to forget:

RESPECT SHOULD NOT BE CONDITIONAL!

The Culture of Conditional Respect

Many Filipinos grow up being told to “respect elders,” “respect authority,” or “respect professionals.” While these lessons come from good intentions, they silently create a hierarchy—where respect becomes something to be earned only if you fit a certain box: educated, respectable, successful, older, or influential.

Because of this, we sometimes downplay the voices of people who don’t hold titles.

We dismiss service workers.

We ignore security guards.

We talk down to cashiers or delivery riders.

We argue with strangers online as if they don’t deserve decency.

AND WE DON'T EVEN REALIZE WE ARE DOING IT!

Respect as a Starting Point, Not a Reward

Respect should not be granted only after someone proves their background.

It should be the default, the baseline for how we engage with every person we cross paths with.

Why?

Because dignity doesn’t come from titles.

Worth isn’t assigned by education.

Human value isn’t a job position.

Every person—regardless of who they are or what they do—deserves to be treated with decency.

A society that respects only the “qualified” becomes cold, divided, and unfair.

A society that respects everyone becomes kinder, safer, and more humane.

HOW CAN WE CHANGE THIS HABIT?

Strengthening this cultural value doesn’t require grand gestures. It looks like:

• Saying “po” and “opo” even to people younger than you.

• Being patient with workers doing their best.

• Listening before judging.

• Treating strangers with the same politeness you’d give a boss or a professor.

• Assuming dignity first, questions second.

Imagine a Philippines where people don’t need to prove themselves before being treated with respect.

Imagine a place where kindness isn’t reserved for titles, achievements, or status.

RESPECT BEGINS WITH US

We can’t change the whole country overnight, but we can change how we show up daily.

And it starts with a simple shift:

Respect people—not because of who they are, but because of who we choose to be.

As we strive for a better society, may this be one habit we strengthen:

Respect first, questions later.

Juen Arzadon MA, AMFT/APCC Filipino Therapist in San Jose, Filipino Therapist in San Diego, Filipino Therapist in Bay Area, Filipino Therapist in Los Angeles, Filipino Therapist in Sacramento, Filipino Therapist in California.